Parenting is HARD!

parenting is hard

I woke up this morning feeling like a two year old. Worse. A three year old. I had a completely irrational need to scream combined with an overwhelming desire to cry.

For three months, Ben has been waking up AT LEAST once a night. Usually, twice. I’m typically all “it’s only temporary. Enjoy these moments while they last.” blah blah blah. But this morning, after a double-wake kind of night, I snapped.

Ben was in bed with me, wide awake. Jack came barreling in, yelling, kicking my shins and bulldozing the baby. Next came Hudson, begging and whining to hold the baby, while Jack tried to block him. This, of course, just made Hudson cry more.

Any dreams I had of catching up on sleep were annihilated and I LOST IT! Seriously. I just yelled. No words. Not directed at any one person. Just a growly, loud “Ahhhhh!”

Ryan, my wonderful and supportive husband, was downstairs, emptying and filling the dishwasher and making me a cup of coffee just how I like it so he could bring it to me in bed. No. Seriously. He is that good to me. Still, when he came up, I snapped at him.

Then came the tears.

I just needed quiet. I needed to not be touched or climbed over. I needed to not be needed.

Poor Ryan. He calmly responded to my meltdown by taking everyone downstairs. I drank my coffee alone in bed and then I penned this little entry in my journal.

I get that I am fortunate. I am grateful for all the love and happy chaos that fills my home. But today, I felt like I was going to explode. And that’s okay because parenting is HARD!

So there I was. Wide awake and all alone. Ryan had fed the boys, done some morning yoga with them and had them all playing quietly on the third floor.  Not sure what I would do without a partner like him.

I no longer had the need to scream or cry (probably because I had already screamed and cried.) I was ready to resume my role as “Mama.”

parenting is hard

But first… one more cup of coffee.

With love from Detroit,

Callie

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9 Comments
  • Carrie
    May 1, 2016

    A good hubby can make all the difference. .and coffee lol

    Do you read Camp Patton? I bet you’d love Grace’s writing

    • Callie
      May 1, 2016

      Seriously! But even with Ryan being as wonderful as he is, being a mom is still crazy hard. I’ll have to check out Camp Patton. Love a good blog rec. Thanks Carrie.

  • Jocelyn Phillips
    May 1, 2016

    Hi Callie… I have one child and I remember the night I screamed and cried. I just want to say, that I love reading your posts and I miss them dearly. I hope as the boys get older and your busy life, maybe calms down, or at least when the routines set in for the boys, that you will write more posts. I am definitely a fan!

    • Callie
      May 1, 2016

      Thanks Jocelyn. I’m happy to have love from people who mean so much to me 🙂 I really love writing. It’s something that brings me a lot of joy and something I know I need to do more often. We are actually starting a part-time nanny this week. The hope is that I can use the time she is here to fuel my creative side (writing, painting, sewing) and work on volunteer projects outside the home.

  • kathleenkrasity
    May 1, 2016

    I burst into tears when my husband woke me from my nap to tell me the baby needed to be feed. Ah, the joys of motherhood! And then I had another.

    • Callie
      May 1, 2016

      I did this with the first. I had no idea what to expect but this part, the exhaustion, was definitely unexpected. That made number two and three easier. Having a better idea of what to expect.

  • Shirel
    May 1, 2016

    Thank you for sharing! Some days I feel like I am reacting as my three year old self all day long.

    • Callie
      May 1, 2016

      Sometimes I can hear myself whining as I ask them to stop whining.

  • Linda Staley
    May 15, 2016

    I remember meltdowns. They happen. We need them. They really don’t feel good, but they are necessary to regroup. Let’s out the stress and thank goodness you have a man who gets it and does what’s needed. Good thing!

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